Your Guests Don’t Care About Your Wedding Favors (Please Stop Wasting Your Budget)

Let’s have a quick moment of brutal honesty.

I have shot hundreds of weddings, and at approximately 11:45 PM every single weekend, I see the exact same tragic sight: a beautifully decorated table overflowing with abandoned custom beer coolers, tiny jars of local honey, and shot glasses engraved with someone else's wedding date.

I am begging you to hear me on this: your guests do not want your favors.

Nobody has ever gone home from a wedding crying because they didn't get a bottle opener they’ll never use (until 5 years later anyway). They want good food, short speeches, an open bar, and a dance floor that doesn’t destroy their feet. If you are currently stressing over spending $500 on customized trinkets that will inevitably end up in a landfill, STOP. Step away from the Etsy cart.

Instead, reallocate that budget into something that will actually save the night (and your dance floor photos).

The Ultimate Wedding Favor Hack: Buy Cheap Anko Thongs

If you want to be a legendary wedding host, take that wasted favor budget straight to Kmart. Go to the shoe aisle, clear out the Anko thongs, and throw them into a nice basket next to the DJ booth.

Why? Because by 9:30 PM, every woman in the room wearing 10-centimetre stilettos is in absolute agony.They want to tear up the dance floor to Mr. Brightside, but they are currently trapped at their tables nursing blisters. The second you drop a basket of $2 thongs next to the dance floor, you will hear a collective gasp of pure joy.

But For the Love of God, Buy Various Sizes

Here is the crucial bit that most couples completely butcher: not everyone is a size 8, FFS.

Do not just buy three dozen pairs of size 7/8 thongs and call it a day. Human feet come in all shapes and dimensions, and nothing ruins the vibe faster than a bridesmaid trying to squeeze her size 10 feet into a tiny strip of plastic, looking like Cinderella's evil stepsister.

When you do your Kmart run, break your basket down like a military operation:

• 30% Small (Sizes 5–6)

• 50% Medium (Sizes 7–8)

• 20% Large/Extra Large (Sizes 9–11)

Throw a witty little chalkboard sign next to the basket that says something like, "Is your footwear killing your vibe? Grab a pair of thongs and get back on the dance floor (And yes, we bought big sizes too)."

Why Your Photographer Will Thank You

From a purely selfish standpoint, happy feet make for infinitely better wedding photos.

When guests are in pain, they sit down, look miserable, and check their phones. When guests have comfortable footwear, they are throwing questionable shapes on the dance floor, jumping into group hugs, and giving me the raw, hilarious, high-energy candid photos you actually want in your final gallery.

Ditch the useless trinkets. Save your budget. Buy the Anko thongs. Your guests, and my camera lens, will thank you.

Ready to Book a Photographer Who Gives It To You Straight?

I don’t just show up and click a button; I’m here to make sure your wedding day is actually fun, stress-free, and perfectly documented. If you want a photographer who keeps it real and keeps your dance floor packed, let’s chat.